ding dong

Last week we walked out to see a neighbor had decorated their door like a shiny gold gift for Christmas. Like your 1st grade teacher did.

Gasp. "Momma -- Look it. Looook. It's beautiful. Look at that." Gasp.

Every time. So I caved and asked if she wanted to decorate our door. Yes of course. Immediately. Now? Today? Thank you good neighbor for your inspiration (need sarcasm font). But I like crafts so I ducked through the midtown holiday tourists (why do they all have giant suitcases) to go to the fabric street for supplies.

At this point, you are thinking "why don't you just go to one of the SEVEN dollar stores in spitting distance to buy some cheap shiny wrapping paper? or door paper, because you know they sell that too." (no, I don't know. and I am stupid.)

So I spent an unnecessary amount of time looking for "tasteful" fabric under $45/yard, finally accepting the door would be tacky (as well it should be. it is a Christmas door. tacky by nature. sorry if I am offending your Christmas door.).

FIFTEEN DOLLARS OF FELT. (What?)

Off to buy ribbon. I found the perfect roll of blinding Christmas red with essence of Santa-fur for $2. But I ran out of cash on the fifteen-dollar-felt-spun-from-gold, and New York is still learning to take credit cards.

FIVE DOLLARS ON RIBBON AND ATM FEE. ATM fee greater than ribbon. (What?)

Oh, but my daughter will be so happy.

On Sunday a beaming D was ready to decorate her door. How cool was mommy now? Ten minutes into measuring (which she needed her sunglasses to do), she said she wanted to stop helping because "this is taking too long". I spent more unnecessary time cutting crooked lines. As did the guy at the fabric store, so you can see where this door cover is going. You know what comes straight with no cutting? DOLLAR STORE DOOR COVER.

You know when you are wrapping a present and find the paper is too short so you have to use two pieces and it looks like a cat did it? Yeah, that happened too. And there was a lot of masking tape. A lot.

And THEN. The reveal.

She told me she didn't like it. WHAT. THE. WHAT. "I like the OTHER door. That one. Let's go look at THAT one."

NO. Get back here and enjoy YOUR OWN DOOR. I realize she's three. And this is a minor teensy weensy example of the rejection in future years. But I had fury. Girl ASKED for this door cover. Needs to learn some APPRECIATION. Brett had to calm me down.

The masking tape kept coming off, exposing my cutting and measuring shortfalls. More fury.

AND NOW FOUR DOLLARS ON VELCRO.

After explaining my hard felt-cutting labor and asking her the same question fourteen times (expecting a different answer and still getting "no"), I was determined to win. I hung a snowman off the bow. I faked that I thought the door was fabulous. I pouted and whined. Somehow it finally put my door on equal footing.

She now makes fair statements each time we enter the hall way. "I like that door. And I like this one too."

She better.

You know what doesn't cost TWENTY FOUR DOLLARS and all my time and crafting pride? The dollar store door cover I saw TONIGHT when hunting for masking tape. Masking tape that I RAN OUT OF of on this project. YES I AM CAPS YELLING A LOT. WHY DIDN'T I GET THE DOLLAR STORE DOOR COVER. WHERE WAS IT 3 DAYS AGO. Seeing it tonight brought the fury back. My life is HARD with these first-world problems. Bah humbug. It's cool. Sorrows drowned in moose munch and wine.

At least the snowman ornament was free. And this keeps it off my tree. The full, fragrant Douglas fir tree I am procrastinating putting lights on by writing this. Seriously, the apartment smells delicious. Maybe I shouldn't cook for a month so we don't dilute it.

Happy December :-).